5 Dating Do’s and Don’ts That You Should Know

So, you’ve met a cool guy who asked you out. Exciting? Totally. A little nerve-wracking? Absolutely. So, what’s a girl to do to lessen the nerves that inevitably come with first-date territory? We all could use some advice in this department.

Here are a few dos and don’ts to keep in mind when hanging out with someone totally new. Remember, it’s all about making a solid first impression.

DO speak up.

Nobody likes a pushover, so if your date tells you he’s planned an evening at a sushi restaurant and you don’t eat fish, or he wants to hang at a cocktail lounge but you don’t drink, speak up. It’ll only look strange if you tell him all that after you’re already seated and waiting to order. Same goes for being decisive. If he asks what you’d like to eat, drink, or share for dessert, don’t say “I don’t care, what do you want?” Wishy-washy can get real old, real fast.

DON’T wear things that you can’t walk, eat, breathe, or talk in.

Obviously, you want to look your best, but a first date isn’t the time to take those new 5-inch stilettos out for a road test, or wear that dress that’s a little too tight. Why? Because first dates are anxiety-filled enough and being uncomfortable in your clothes only makes it worse. Plus, won’t it suck to not be able to walk a few blocks on a nice night because your heels are too high? Instead, wear things you know look good on you but won’t hinder you from being cool, calm, and collected.

DO be on time.

Yeah, we know the whole fashionably late ideology still exists, but on a first date, you’ll make a better impression if you show up on time. Would you want him to show up late? Probably not. What’s that? It takes you two hours to do your hair? Sounds like you’re perfectly aware of that fact, which means you’ll know exactly how much time you need to prepare ahead of time, even if it’s five hours.

DON’T not eat.

Most guys will freely tell you that there’s nothing more cliché than a girl who doesn’t eat on a date. If you think not ordering dinner will make you appear skinnier, prettier, more feminine, or more mysterious, guess what? It won’t. What it will do? Probably make your dude a little uncomfortable.

DON’T drink too much.

There’s not much to say here without sounding like a preachy parent, but keep this in mind: Having to be carried home by a guy you barely know isn’t chic nor is slurring your words, doing something you regret, or crying at the dinner table. Sure, a cocktail or two can be fun and loosen the mood, but knowing your limits will help make a better first impression.

Final Word

As cliché as it sounds, being yourself is probably the best way to ensure you not only have a good time on a first date, but also get a second date, too!

5 Online Dating Writing Tips

Breaking the ice in any situation is no easy feat. Whether you’re approaching someone at a bar, a party, or online, putting yourself out there can be an awkward and scary experience, even for people who are naturally outgoing.

Breaking the ice online is a lot easier and a lot less frightening than approaching someone in real life. You don’t have to deal with a crowd of people watching you, you can take a really long time thinking of what to say, and you have the assurance of knowing that the people you’re approaching are also single and open to meeting someone, after all, they’re on a dating site.

Next time you log in and start meeting people, consider these five online dating writing tips:

1. Don’t be nervous.
Even if your stomach is tied up into knots and you’re so nervous you can barely type, try to stay calm. Really, it’s not like the person on the other end of the message is going to publicly reject you, and you’ll never have to see this person in real life if nothing comes out of your attempt. The worst that can happen is an “I’m not interested” message, which you can quickly delete. And, if you get no response at all, you can do what we all do and just pretend it never happened. The ability to compartmentalize is a beautiful thing.

2. Do your homework.
Actually take the time to read someone’s profile before sending that first message. I know a lot of us are quick on the draw when it comes to messaging people who catch our eye, but it helps to actually know something about that person before you message them. You may want to read some articles in our free chat line numbers for more tips on dating and online dating.

3. Cool your jets.
Girls get tired of cheesy compliments like, ‘you are so beautiful, you have such beautiful eyes, I think I’m in love, I’ve died and gone to heaven, if I’m sleeping don’t wake me, I must be dreaming, let’s do it, you’re so hot, etc.’ Don’t use pick-up lines ever. They don’t work. The same goes for guys; everyone will just think you’re creepy if you over-do it with compliments, especially when you barely know them. Keep your message light and simple.

4. Avoid TMI
TMI, or ‘too much information’, about yourself is a no-no on a first date, and it’s also a no-no with a first message too. Generally, when people talk too much about themselves it reveals a real problem with listening, which is a turn off. If things work out between you and your prospective match, they’ll find out everything about you in due course. There is no need to tell someone everything about your life right away. Asking questions in your message, as opposed to talking nonstop about yourself, is also a great way to get a reply.

5. Spell check.
Never underestimate the power of a typo-proof message. Typos and grammatical mistakes are ugly blips that detract from the sincerity and sweetness of what you’re saying.

Next time you’re ready to start messaging someone, remember these tips. Over time, you’ll realize that breaking the ice online isn’t so bad after all. In fact, you might even surprise yourself and start having fun.

Fun Date Ideas

Plan some great dates with these fun ideas.

Food. More expensive

Try going out at a different time of day. For example, go out to breakfast on a Saturday morning. Take fast food by storm and have a progressive meal. Select different restaurants around town and go to each one. Order drinks at one, appetizers at another, go somewhere new for your main course, and top it off with your favourite dessert in town.

 

Educational. Food. Inexpensive.

Take a world tour from your table. Pick a place and make a meal from that country. Try learning more about that particular country by looking at tourist books or watching a film about it.

 

Athletic. Free.

If you have a park or large open field nearby, set up an obstacle course and have a tournament.

 

Athletic. Free.

Play sports together. If you feel like changing things up, try switching around the rules or adding funny new ones to make it unique.

 

Service. More expensive.

Buy some flats of flowers, plant them in beautiful arrangements in planter boxes, and give them to people in your neighbourhood.

Service

 

Athletic. Free.

Split into teams and go on a walk along a trail. Pick up any garbage you see and, at the end, give prizes for the strangest objects you find.

 

Service. Free.

Make someone else’s night by offering to babysit for some young couples in your ward. Make assignments within your date for games, snacks, and entertainment for the kids.

 

Educational. Inexpensive.

Go on a nature hike and learn about the plants and wildlife that you see along the way. Or, you can try an early morning hike. Pick a nice spot, bring along a picnic breakfast, and watch the sun rise.

 

Educational. Free.

Take a turn being bookworms. Go to a local library or bookstore and browse through the books. You can take turns reading children’s books to each other. Or look for the most interesting title, or the funniest chapter.

 

Artistic. Inexpensive.

Feeling dramatic? Put on a reader’s theatre. Find a play that everyone is interested in, assign roles, and let the play begin!

 

Educational. Free.

Does your school have free music concerts? Make a date out of it and go see your school’s band, orchestra, or choir in action.

 

Athletic. Free/Inexpensive.

If you’re looking for a winter activity, try night skiing, sledding, building a snowman, or even having a snowball fight.

 

Athletic. Inexpensive.

Do you have friends who play sports? Go support them at a sporting activity. Show your spirit by wearing their colours.

 

Athletic. Free.

Learn how to swing, ballroom, or country dance and then show off your steps to your friends. Or, get in a group and learn a fun dance routine together.

 

Artistic. Free

Find a poetry reading to attend, or create your own with food, your date, and your favourite poetic stanzas.

 

Artistic. Free.

Have a photo scavenger hunt or see who can get the most interesting shots of the same subject. If you’re using digital cameras, have a computer slideshow of all the photos you take.

 

These dates will surely give your date the most memorable experience, ever. Well, do take note that these are not the formal kind.

 

10 Signs Your Date like You

Men aren’t always champions of reading signs, especially when it comes to the opposite sex. Women are confusing creatures and sometimes it’s impossible to tell what she means, why she does what she does, or if any of what’s going on means she’s into you or not.

 

  1. Eye contact

When I like someone, we tend to make more eye contact. That eye contact can be steady or it can be shy and coquettish. I can already know if my date likes me just with their eye contact.

 

  1. Mirroring and mimicry

It sends the message of possible trust or empathy or a sense of sameness. It is like she is identifying with me so closely and listening so intently that she has become one with me non-verbally

 

  1. Less personal space

As we get closer to those we like, our spatial needs diminish. Where normally we want people to get no closer than three feet in a social setting, we actually relax more around those we like as they get closer because that is exactly what we want.

 

  1. Body posture

Body positioning is important and can indicate a growing comfort level. Does she uncross her knees? Does she point her knees towards you? Is she leaning towards you or stepping closer to you? Or are her arms crossed in defensive mode? These might sound like small things but they mean something, especially early on.

 

  1. Body temperature

When we become interested in someone, our skin temperature will rise as blood rushes to the skin, making our lips full and our touch warm. That’s that awesome sexy flush women get when they are aroused, but it may cause individuals to have to ventilate. Men tend to do it by pulling on their short or jacket or even the collar, women, more noticeably may lift the hair away from the nape of the neck to cool off that area and may repeat this behaviour.

 

  1. The hair flip

It is often said that women will touch or flick their hair when they are interested in a man who is nearby. There is some truth to this. Humans, all humans, have an orientation reflex that means that we orient on movement in a crowded bar or restaurant, there is a sea of activity.

 

  1. Attention span

Our attention spans are held longer when we are interested; when I am enjoying something in the moment, I am not checking my phone, email or reading the news.

 

  1. Spontaneous grooming

Preening behaviours: we all do them, especially when we care.

 

  1. Touching

When we like others, we tend to touch more and differently.

 

  1. Laughter

Women that laugh at a men’s jokes with the right tonality more often than not are peaking at higher levels of neuron attractors for that individual.

 

All women are different, as is each relationship, so the signs one woman will show will not necessarily match the ones you can expect from another. Still, I believe these signs will help you.

 

 

 

How to Approach Your Date

If this is your first date with her either you met her online or talked to her briefly at a club and gotten her number. If the two of you haven’t really spent any considerable amount of time together yet, but you have arranged to meet for a date, how you walk up to her is actually quite important.

 

How to Approach

 

When you see her, Smile. Smile right away. Smile with your teeth. This will convey to her that you are both confident, friendly and pleased to see her.

 

Don’t break eye contact before she does. Imagine that the two of you are locked in mutual attraction and that you are transfixed by each other. When she looks away, it’s OK for you to, but often she will look back again to see if you are still looking. If I am still looking, I hold her gaze again until she breaks it, and then I can look away. I make sure to look away after a second eye contact because I don’t want to creep her out with my laser stare.

 

Don’t cock your head and keep your body language poised. I imagine that I am Clint Eastwood. I don’t show any nervous twitches.

 

A handshake and a hello is fine. You’re not trying to sweep her off her feet just yet and don’t make that your agenda or you will just put pressure on yourself for a result to come out of that first moment. Attraction isn’t that fast for women and she’s not expecting it to be. She’s attracted enough already to want to get to know you and that’s her agenda. So I’m just being cool and relax and get ready to begin my attraction material as my date proceeds.

 

Use a pleasing tonality when you first say hello, and if you had stopped smiling during the approach, be sure to smile again. It doesn’t matter what you say, it matters more the tone that you use. She will respond more to your tone and body language then to your words.

 

In terms of preparing for conversation, the best thing to do is take the pressure out of the equation early on by talking about random events in life.  I mean unusual, insignificant, amusing, fluff.  The funnier or more whimsical, the better.  More than likely you will have at least 30-45 minutes with the person so build your momentum by showing who you are by your reactions to every day events in life.  Talk about the latest relationships in your world between friends- the juicier the better.  Women especially love to hear a man’s opinion on various topics within relationships to help them ascertain compatibility.

 

Challenge each other, softly and deliberately.  Pretend you are each putting together a puzzle of one another’s life.  If all of the pieces were in front of you in the exact order already, it would bore you to death.  The fun is in the challenge.  Tell some unusual things about yourself that might disqualify most prospects as a test.

 

I say, if your initial approach is weak, if your body language conveys insecurity instead of confidence, she will immediately lose attraction for you.

 

From Photography To Dating Expert

I didn’t really start out as a dating expert, mind you. I started this blog as an image sharing forum. I had the intention of gathering people of the same interests regarding dating photography and we could have a community of sorts to compile our techniques and interests.

Over time, I’ve had several interviews with individuals who participated in the forum as models and subjects. Most of us photographers during that time had to make sure we had models who actually dated each other. It was debated in a thread once that to get the full flavour of a date, it must be that the couple is actually dating each other or else we fail to capture the true essence of dating.

The difficult part of conceptualising this was to get to know the couple better. Not that there was any knick-knack to it, but we’d really love to understand how much they love each other. Knowing the story of our subjects allows us to construct photographs that are memorable and meaningful.

I’ve had countless interviews with dating couples, from their inception to the time they had difficulties and the dating styles of each person. The more they weren’t shy or ashamed to talk about their respective dating and life decisions, the better we understood them. Hence better photographs.

I’ve compiled a number of recording interviews and have analysed them for my personal use. I’ve taken note of the things most of the couples mentioned particularly about how their dates sucked and why they gave the man or the woman a chance to redeem themselves.

From these recordings, I could say that not all women reject a man when they don’t like him for the first time. Some women say the physical appearance of their date that makes them stay. Some say that despite their appearance, they love the personality of the man. Some women just say that the men give them a feeling of security and trust they couldn’t just stay away from.

For men, they always gave their date a chance. Some just wanted to get laid at first, but then realised that his date was a ‘bro’ that understood what he felt. It made things hilarious. Men like women who could make them laugh and have a sense of humour the same level they have. Some men will always give the woman a chance because it often feels like unfinished business when they are the ones who dump on the date.

You see, dating has lots of perspectives. I’ve tried to improve these things mentioned here (and more, I didn’t include all of them) and saw for myself the perfect solutions to these problems. So, lo and behold, I have become a dating expert.

Rest assured that everything you’ll read here is an effective post that I’ve tried on myself as a guinea pig first. Surely, you won’t be wasting your time here.

Just give me a chance. Just like the men and women I’ve interviewed. Give me a second date and tell your friends about me too!